With a mixture of apprehension and anticipation, I made a last minute decision to fly home for 24-hours to attend my 20th high school reunion. (“I already made you a name tag!” Julie lobbied.) My decision surprised everyone, including myself. “I thought you didn’t like high school?” True, I graduated and never looked back. I borrowed frequent flyer miles and had to fly back (to MA) the next morning, but those four hours changed my life.
The occasion was surreal. Except for a couple of girlfriends, I had not seen anyone for decades. Most arrived with their spouses or friends; I went solo. Many of the guys who were hot were not anymore. The geeks turned into hunks and I hardly recognized others. My small circle of girlfriends looked radiant with their partners; single and married guys flirted with me and I found common ground with classmates I barely knew. Later that evening, I overheard one of the guys whisper, “When did Natalie get so hot??” That made my evening. Actually, it made my year. I had finally come full circle and been redeemed for all those dateless pre-college years!
Maybe it wasn’t so much high school that I disliked. Maybe it was me who I disliked. The environment was different and I was different inside. Before Asian models were popular and Asian food became trendy, my family was the only source of positive reinforcement. I didn’t fit most Asian stereotypes, e.g. being good at math or science (I had to receive tutoring), being quiet or reticent (one teacher complained that I “asked too many questions”), non-controversial (I led a workers protest at Pizzaria Uno’s) or lady-like (I loved competitive sports and owned a BB-gun). I felt like one big five-foot-tall walking paradox!
Many high school classmates had known me since first grade and were as friendly as you could expect teens to be in a peer-pressurized culture. Thanks to a small group of sweet girlfriends who looked beyond the “color and coolness” lines, I was included in many social activities. Since then, my looks or interests haven’t changed that much. What has changed was inside of me – more confidence, more passion and acceptance – for who I was and wanted to become.
If you have the opportunity to go back to reunion and you didn’t like high school either, you might re-consider. Not only was it the best night of my year, it was the healing and closure I needed to look back through a new lens and to move forward with confidence.
The occasion was surreal. Except for a couple of girlfriends, I had not seen anyone for decades. Most arrived with their spouses or friends; I went solo. Many of the guys who were hot were not anymore. The geeks turned into hunks and I hardly recognized others. My small circle of girlfriends looked radiant with their partners; single and married guys flirted with me and I found common ground with classmates I barely knew. Later that evening, I overheard one of the guys whisper, “When did Natalie get so hot??” That made my evening. Actually, it made my year. I had finally come full circle and been redeemed for all those dateless pre-college years!
Maybe it wasn’t so much high school that I disliked. Maybe it was me who I disliked. The environment was different and I was different inside. Before Asian models were popular and Asian food became trendy, my family was the only source of positive reinforcement. I didn’t fit most Asian stereotypes, e.g. being good at math or science (I had to receive tutoring), being quiet or reticent (one teacher complained that I “asked too many questions”), non-controversial (I led a workers protest at Pizzaria Uno’s) or lady-like (I loved competitive sports and owned a BB-gun). I felt like one big five-foot-tall walking paradox!
Many high school classmates had known me since first grade and were as friendly as you could expect teens to be in a peer-pressurized culture. Thanks to a small group of sweet girlfriends who looked beyond the “color and coolness” lines, I was included in many social activities. Since then, my looks or interests haven’t changed that much. What has changed was inside of me – more confidence, more passion and acceptance – for who I was and wanted to become.
If you have the opportunity to go back to reunion and you didn’t like high school either, you might re-consider. Not only was it the best night of my year, it was the healing and closure I needed to look back through a new lens and to move forward with confidence.
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