* Who’s at the door? “Look through the pee hole and check who it is.” (peep hole)
* Where’s Frank? “He’s downstairs getting ready. He takes a long time pimping himself!” (primping)
* “We used to have an old Volkswagon Beetle so I know how to drive a car with a stick and a crutch!” (clutch)
* While reading People magazine, “I can’t believe Angelini and the Pitts are trying to have another baby!” and “I think Bandino is very hot [Antonio Banderas]!” (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)
* As my sister was putting tokens in and ushering her kids through the subway turnstile, she waved quickly to her last little one to go through saying, “Hurry up, go, you’re free!” Reluctantly, the child slid under but not without protesting, “But mommy, I’m four!”
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Beat of A Different Hummer
Steve and my mom have been friends for almost thirty years now. He’s her “fishing buddy” but his nickname to us is Space Alien. Steve’s been by our side through four weddings and a few funerals. He is the only person I know who doesn’t eat anything at my mother’s glorious dinner parties and sometimes, brings his own roasted turkey and canned peas while we feast on a table-full of fabulous Country Pan-Asian cuisine!
About seventeen years ago, Steve bought my mom a birthday gift she’ll always remember. Not because she treasured it but because the story has been retold so many times that we all remember the gift!
According to legend, my mom opened a “mystery gift” and plugged it in. After hearing only a faint humming noise, seeing no other features and having no earthly idea what the thing was, she assumed it was broken and disappointedly, threw it in the trash. “How did you like your gift?” asked Steve. Feeling bad, my mom quickly said, “Fine” and tried to change the subject. Steve continued, “Well, I hope you’ll like it because I special ordered it from Hammacher Schlemmer and it’s been a life-saver for me.” Sheepishly, my mom asked, “What was, I mean, what is it?” Steve said it was a “sleep sound generator,” a noise blocker to help her sleep. “Ohhhhhhh!” as she dug through the trash to find the device.
After that, Steve doesn’t order gifts for Margaret anymore. Now, every year when her birthday comes around, they do the same ritual. He escorts her to the Macy’s Shiseido cosmetics counter and she picks out her favorite facial cream. He asks for the price, and upon hearing, exclaims, “for a GALLON??” He then wraps it and gives it to her after dinner. They have performed this tradition every year for the last seventeen years now. My mother is thrilled with her new Shiseido Man and no more gadgets from Steve go in the landfill!
About seventeen years ago, Steve bought my mom a birthday gift she’ll always remember. Not because she treasured it but because the story has been retold so many times that we all remember the gift!
According to legend, my mom opened a “mystery gift” and plugged it in. After hearing only a faint humming noise, seeing no other features and having no earthly idea what the thing was, she assumed it was broken and disappointedly, threw it in the trash. “How did you like your gift?” asked Steve. Feeling bad, my mom quickly said, “Fine” and tried to change the subject. Steve continued, “Well, I hope you’ll like it because I special ordered it from Hammacher Schlemmer and it’s been a life-saver for me.” Sheepishly, my mom asked, “What was, I mean, what is it?” Steve said it was a “sleep sound generator,” a noise blocker to help her sleep. “Ohhhhhhh!” as she dug through the trash to find the device.
After that, Steve doesn’t order gifts for Margaret anymore. Now, every year when her birthday comes around, they do the same ritual. He escorts her to the Macy’s Shiseido cosmetics counter and she picks out her favorite facial cream. He asks for the price, and upon hearing, exclaims, “for a GALLON??” He then wraps it and gives it to her after dinner. They have performed this tradition every year for the last seventeen years now. My mother is thrilled with her new Shiseido Man and no more gadgets from Steve go in the landfill!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Register now for April and May events!
Cook's Warehouse-Midtown (our debut!), "Eggrolls 'n' Sweet Tea, Hands-on class, Monday, April 13, 6:30-9:30pm https://www.cookswarehouse.com/ClassReg/Public/classes.asp?id=2162
Asian Market Tour & Lunch, Saturday, April 18, 10am-1pm Register here http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/62997 or call 800-838-3006
Cook's Warehouse-Decatur, "Chinese Southern Belle Express" Demo & Tasting, Saturday, May 2, 11am-1pm. Register
https://www.cookswarehouse.com/ClassReg/Public/classes.asp?id=2163
Country Asian Tapas with Natalie & Margaret, A Benefit Dinner for Slow Food Atlanta, May 31, 6-9pm, Inman Park. Register here http://http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/63011 or call 800-838-3006
Look forward to seeing y'all soon!
Asian Market Tour & Lunch, Saturday, April 18, 10am-1pm Register here http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/62997 or call 800-838-3006
Cook's Warehouse-Decatur, "Chinese Southern Belle Express" Demo & Tasting, Saturday, May 2, 11am-1pm. Register
https://www.cookswarehouse.com/ClassReg/Public/classes.asp?id=2163
Country Asian Tapas with Natalie & Margaret, A Benefit Dinner for Slow Food Atlanta, May 31, 6-9pm, Inman Park. Register here http://http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/63011 or call 800-838-3006
Look forward to seeing y'all soon!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Lost in Translation (a series)
Cuttlefish jerky. Blood cake. Grass jelly. Beef essence. Beancurd dregs. Love jade jello. I’ve eaten all of these products and while the translation may torture product marketers, they’re some of my favorite snacks and double as great band names!
Being a Chinese Southern Belle, we spoke “Chenglish” sometimes and I’ve heard my share of American idioms gone awry, non-translatable Chinese jokes, Mandarin with a southern twang and different variations of pidgin English. While traveling in Asia, I came across some funny messages: “Salute to the tourists who keep the public hygience;” “The civilized and tidy circumstance is a kind of enjoyment;” and “Heaven destroys CCP.” What we would have called smog, was referred to as “fog” by locals in Shanghai. Hmmm….
In the spirit of Reader’s Digest and Laughter is the Best Medicine, which I grew up reading, here are a couple amusing anecdotes from our family:
“GOU, not GO!”
My sisters came home looking worried and sullen. “We wrecked Mom’s car,” said Leigh. “It was your fault. You were driving!” blurted Pearl. Leigh glared and quickly defended, “But you told me to GO!” “No,” Pearl clarified. “I said ‘GOU’ in Chinese which means ‘enough’ because we were sitting in traffic, you were distracted and our car was sliding forward. I told you, ‘enough,’ because we’re about to slide into the car in front of us!” Well, they both got grounded and as mad as my parents were about a totaled car, they couldn’t help but shake their heads and chuckle in disbelief over the bilingual mishap.
The Pants Story
We hung out a lot at Cumberland Mall growing up since that’s where our family restaurant and jade store were located. My sisters and I worked at the restaurant and often went shopping on our breaks. One day, Pearl came back to the restaurant, out of breath, and asked my dad to loan her some money, fast. “What for?” replied my dad. In Chinese, she said, “I don’t have time to explain, they’re holding my pants!” My nai-nai (grandmother on the father’s side), who didn’t speak English, overheard this and laughed in puzzlement. Well, in Chinese, “they’re holding my pants” means…they’re holding your pants! Later, my dad explained the concept of “layaway” to granny!
Stay tuned for more “Lost in Translation” tales….
Being a Chinese Southern Belle, we spoke “Chenglish” sometimes and I’ve heard my share of American idioms gone awry, non-translatable Chinese jokes, Mandarin with a southern twang and different variations of pidgin English. While traveling in Asia, I came across some funny messages: “Salute to the tourists who keep the public hygience;” “The civilized and tidy circumstance is a kind of enjoyment;” and “Heaven destroys CCP.” What we would have called smog, was referred to as “fog” by locals in Shanghai. Hmmm….
In the spirit of Reader’s Digest and Laughter is the Best Medicine, which I grew up reading, here are a couple amusing anecdotes from our family:
“GOU, not GO!”
My sisters came home looking worried and sullen. “We wrecked Mom’s car,” said Leigh. “It was your fault. You were driving!” blurted Pearl. Leigh glared and quickly defended, “But you told me to GO!” “No,” Pearl clarified. “I said ‘GOU’ in Chinese which means ‘enough’ because we were sitting in traffic, you were distracted and our car was sliding forward. I told you, ‘enough,’ because we’re about to slide into the car in front of us!” Well, they both got grounded and as mad as my parents were about a totaled car, they couldn’t help but shake their heads and chuckle in disbelief over the bilingual mishap.
The Pants Story
We hung out a lot at Cumberland Mall growing up since that’s where our family restaurant and jade store were located. My sisters and I worked at the restaurant and often went shopping on our breaks. One day, Pearl came back to the restaurant, out of breath, and asked my dad to loan her some money, fast. “What for?” replied my dad. In Chinese, she said, “I don’t have time to explain, they’re holding my pants!” My nai-nai (grandmother on the father’s side), who didn’t speak English, overheard this and laughed in puzzlement. Well, in Chinese, “they’re holding my pants” means…they’re holding your pants! Later, my dad explained the concept of “layaway” to granny!
Stay tuned for more “Lost in Translation” tales….
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)