Lost in Translation (a series)

Cuttlefish jerky. Blood cake. Grass jelly. Beef essence. Beancurd dregs. Love jade jello. I’ve eaten all of these products and while the translation may torture product marketers, they’re some of my favorite snacks and double as great band names!

Being a Chinese Southern Belle, we spoke “Chenglish” sometimes and I’ve heard my share of American idioms gone awry, non-translatable Chinese jokes, Mandarin with a southern twang and different variations of pidgin English. While traveling in Asia, I came across some funny messages: “Salute to the tourists who keep the public hygience;” “The civilized and tidy circumstance is a kind of enjoyment;” and “Heaven destroys CCP.” What we would have called smog, was referred to as “fog” by locals in Shanghai. Hmmm….

In the spirit of Reader’s Digest and Laughter is the Best Medicine, which I grew up reading, here are a couple amusing anecdotes from our family:

“GOU, not GO!”
My sisters came home looking worried and sullen. “We wrecked Mom’s car,” said Leigh. “It was your fault. You were driving!” blurted Pearl. Leigh glared and quickly defended, “But you told me to GO!” “No,” Pearl clarified. “I said ‘GOU’ in Chinese which means ‘enough’ because we were sitting in traffic, you were distracted and our car was sliding forward. I told you, ‘enough,’ because we’re about to slide into the car in front of us!” Well, they both got grounded and as mad as my parents were about a totaled car, they couldn’t help but shake their heads and chuckle in disbelief over the bilingual mishap.

The Pants Story
We hung out a lot at Cumberland Mall growing up since that’s where our family restaurant and jade store were located. My sisters and I worked at the restaurant and often went shopping on our breaks. One day, Pearl came back to the restaurant, out of breath, and asked my dad to loan her some money, fast. “What for?” replied my dad. In Chinese, she said, “I don’t have time to explain, they’re holding my pants!” My nai-nai (grandmother on the father’s side), who didn’t speak English, overheard this and laughed in puzzlement. Well, in Chinese, “they’re holding my pants” means…they’re holding your pants! Later, my dad explained the concept of “layaway” to granny!

Stay tuned for more “Lost in Translation” tales….